Monday, November 29, 2010


Life can sure throw curveballs.

For some reason last night I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned all night, my mind going on all sorts of tangents and trails. My phone rang around 7:50 this morning. It was my dad. My dear grandmother passed away around 5:45 this morning. We all knew the inevitable, that she was close to going home to her place in heaven. But I didn't think today would have been the day.

I'll admit. Yesterday I was incredibly selfish. My cousin called my mom, asking her to drive to Maryland since my Mommom was really not doing well. They just moved her into a nursing home last week, and her poor little heart was failing. But I wanted my mom to stay, so we could have one final relaxing day of Thanksgiving break, and so she could help me settle back in at school. I didn't want her to go. But now I can only be thankful that she went, that she was there, resting next to Mommom all night. It's difficult losing such a sweet grandmother, I can't imagine what it's like to lose a mother.

I have to keep reminding myself that she's in a better place. I can't think about losing her here on this earth. She was my only grandmother left, and she will forever hold a special place in my heart. I'll aspire to share her strong-willed spirit and cherish the memories we had. I'll remember her preciseness about her clothes and how she fixed every meal when we visited; I'll remember reading her letters to Poppop during the war. She won't be sitting on the front row of my wedding or be able to hold my children, but she will be present, watching us from above. She'll be with Jesus and that's what matters.

Thursday, November 25, 2010


I'm thankful for lifelong friends. For holidays spent with the family. For traditions. For love. For memories. For reconciliation. For smiles. For joy. For spontaneity. For the love of Christ. For life.

I'm thankful for snuggling up in warm sweaters. For wearing Jacks in November. For beach music played at weddings. For the smell of coffee brewing when I wake up. For rainy afternoons. For eating too much and not worrying about it until tomorrow. For driving with the windows down. For homemade bread right out of the oven. For good books I can't possibly put down. For singing at the top of my lungs on the car ride back home. For sleeping in. For drooling over Chuck Bass on Monday nights. For sappy Hallmark movies. For boys in bowties. For people who are much more musically talented than I. For sparkly headbands. For staying in pajamas all day. For monogramming anything that stands still long enough. For good music that reminds me of high school. For college tailgates. For being single and not knowing what's in store.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Mountain and the Sea

^Miss my roomie. (And her incred closet.)
You can move me if you want to
You can move a mountain, you can move everything

Monday, November 22, 2010


Thanksgiving is oh so close. I cannot contain my joy.

I'm so amazed by how things have fallen into place these past couple days. When you finally realize that you can be wrong, when you learn to understand how another feels and start to see from their perspective, when you forgive and let go. It's an amazing feeling.

Here's a little something I've been working since last night, but I can't seem to come up with a title. Suggestions would be much appreciated.

He trudges on, pedaling arduously. He travels for miles and miles, with nothing but the sound of bicycle tires spinning on the pavement. June’s rays illuminate the road ahead but harshly darken the skin around his Teva-sandaled feet. Carrying merely what his bike can hold, he moves forward to the next destination on the map. Distinct white lines catch the corner of his eye as he looks for a place to rest his head for the night. Sunset falls; he sets up camp and sleeps until dawn. Day breaks; he awakens in search of a nearby diner before embarking again toward the California coast. This morning, bitter black coffee will just have to do. He climbs back on his beloved 1970 Schwinn bicycle in search for something new to behold. Perhaps he’ll meet a friendly face or encounter a mountain range or even take a wrong exit off the highway and find himself terribly lost. Distance and solitude encompass his journey. Time stops, only nature consumes his thoughts. Away from home and away from a schedule, he desires only the necessary and relishes in the peace of endless possibility.

He began his journey in Emerald Isle, mid-spring, with another bicyclist. After his companion grew weary of the tour and regressed home, he traveled solo, biking an average of seventy miles a day. To catch his breath, he stayed with a fine southern family in Georgia who provided absolute luxury in terms of a warm shower and cake for his twenty-fourth :) birthday. He faced challenges as the weeks progressed—backtracking eighteen miles for a forgotten book bag in South Carolina, two broken spokes in Mississippi, a sprinkler accident underneath his tent in Texas, voracious winds in Oklahoma (that made reading Grapes of Wrath during his travels absolutely fitting), and waiting hopelessly for a bike shop to open. Nevertheless, he continued. Although short-lived, he developed friendships with fellow cyclists and even learned the art of bee removal in Albuquerque. Deep conversations marked his contact with the people he encountered, giving him a respite from loneliness. But it was in the quiet moments, under his “speckled sky,” that he found peace. These were the moments he spent watching the desert sunsets, the moments he spent overlooking the immense Pacific Ocean, the moments he spent basking in the glory of the redwood forests. Sheltered by the shimmering stars and nestled between the rolling hills of the coast, he laid down to sleep, reminiscing his cross-country travel. Thinking. Dreaming. Believing.

Who is this he you ask? He is my brother—a brother five years older than I. A brother I never learned to appreciate until I noticed the zest and sparkle that characterized his life. Growing up, he and I were on the complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Always musically and poetically talented, he cared less about grades or society’s standards. Not afraid of change and always requiring very little, he did things for the sake of adventure and discovery, eventually earning money along the way to backpack across Europe. I, on the other hand, was the straight A student and a perfectionist in all sense of the word. I was the girl running back and forth from ballet class, the girl working draining hours after school in the newspaper room, the girl spending her Sunday afternoons scribbling to-do lists all over her planner. I guess that’s what makes us so different. But no matter the difference, he has something in himself that deep down I aspire to share. Do I have the ambition to travel alone across the country without the daily comforts that I am so accustomed to? Probably not. But his voyage emphasized contentment in a slower-paced way of life, serene moments of escape, and a return to a simplicity that I someday wish to experience myself. He saw the world from a different perspective—a perspective shaped by lush surroundings and meaningful individuals who helped him along the way. But most importantly, his perspective was shaped by embarking on a goal and achieving it, on his own, atop two wheels.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Fall Showcase

Dancing felt so wonderful last night. I've forgotten how it makes me feel just to move to the music, stop thinking about the steps, and enjoy the moments onstage. And the fact that everyone in the showcase was dancing for the joy of dancing was such a breath of fresh air. I think that's what made it so special. No matter how busy life can get, dancing always takes me away, somewhere where I don't have to think about the million things running through my mind, somewhere where I'm given an escape, somewhere where I'm at peace.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Davis Library, perfect blogging spot.

Parents cocktail at the Carolina Inn
Senior/freshman get-together
Parents brunch
UNC vs. VT tailgate

A photo update will just have to do for now since the book stacks are calling my name, but it really has been a wonderful weekend.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Color and Glitter Galore

Parents cocktail tonight! If only I had...
1. This closet.
2. These ballet flats.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Thursday's Thoughts

Thank God it's the day before Friday. Which means one more full week until Thanksgiving break! ::victory dance::

Yesterday threw me for a loop. Assignments kept seeming to build up, my body was drained, class scheduling was a nightmare, and putting pointe shoes on for the firsttime in five months made my feet throb. You know, not that I'm complaining or anything. But I sure am ready to spend time with my family, catch up on sleep, and just chilllll (even though I know I'll be spending most of the break racking my brain for a topic to write about for my creative paper for English).

Since it's been awhile, here's my current obsessions list:
Glee's Teenage Dream this week, Top O before cocktails, yoga unit in LFIT, Caribou's chai tea, bright red nail polish, the new Harry Potter trailer, afternoon naps, oatmeal for breakfast, orange gerber daisies from ADPi, Tay Swift's new album, and the following three pictures with my girls.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

This Is Your Life

Good reminder huh? It's currently the comp wallpaper (:

I apologize blog, I really do. I am such a slacker. And I hateee that all this time has gone by without updating. I can hardly fathom that my first semester of college is almost over. It's been an absolute whirlwind. I feel like I'm constantly on the go, jacked up on caffeine, desperately trying to get some zzz's in between my studies. And you know what, I LOVE it. I feel in my element here, there's really no other way to put it. I love going to Caribou on Monday afternoons, I love chapter meetings (no matter how long they go), I love sitting on the library steps sipping white mochas and reading the DTH, I love the energy and the people and the work ethic and the diversity. I love walking to class watching a spontaneous dance party erupt, I love Gossip Girl nights in the dorm, I love splashing in puddles on rainy days (or rather falling in puddles on rainy days), I love Friday mornings to myself with God's Word.

On another note, some things have propped up in my life that's made me realize a few things, specifically about change.
"Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender who you are for who you could become."
"Sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people. If they care, they'll notice. If they don't, you know where you stand."
Change is inevitable, especially in college. People can say what they want, telling you you're turning into a completely different person, or that you're not the person that they want you to be. But you know what? Maybe a new environment is making you the person you're supposed to be. Maybe the new faces, the new experiences, your new-found ideas morph you into someone for the better. There's only so much you can do to please these people. Sometimes it's better to leave them be, stand on your own two feet for awhile, and trust your instincts. Change can be scary, but nonetheless necessary.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...